Why Do I Do It? ? ? Poem by Becky Ginn

I am alone,
With only thoughts and memories,
That blade creates a magic spark,
Sparks i know are very wrong.

As once again, i feel familiar pain,
The red runny liquid come to the surface,
Until one unfortunate night it may hit that vain,
How i long for that night.

I sing that same song over and over in my head,
Anger, hate, pain, guilt, and sadness is all i feel,
And i look down and see my arm is a deep sea of red,
Once again.

I live for the realise this kind of pain gives me,
I try to overcome the black of life and look towards the future,
But nothing but darkness i see,
Cannot pull myself out of this addicting trap.

For i know nothing will ever change,
I try to dig deep into a hardened heart,
Everything i ever wished for is way out of my range,
So for now i will stay where i am.

Stay where i feel safe,
Safe like i have never felt before.