Why Me? Poem by Afia Gyimah

The first word
Isn't much
You may not care
You may not even look
Won't even consider
Or care for any such
Affection
That is thrown
In your direction
But when the attempts
The undying will
For what?
You wonder
What is it about me?
What are they trying to fulfill?
Yet they keep going
Keep trying
And for once you will listen
For once you gave in
Instead of constantly
Denying
Everything that you saw
You read as pathetic
For the hell of it
You listened just once
And some of the little
Things they said
Leaving you in complete awe
Flattering
You still wondered
What is it about me?
What is it that they see?
They continued
Pursuing
You
You
Just you
But you just never stopped
Thinking
What about at the start
Where you never cared
About them
Where you figured things
Would never get like this
But now
You couldn't help but feel
Scared
Why me?
Constantly you thought
What is it about me?
And even if you asked them
What do you see?
It was just so hard to believe
What they said
Why do you think you're so ungreat?
So unlovable
You loved them now
But the thought of your
Love
Instead made you feel dread
Because it would set you in a sense
Of fight or flight
Is it me?
Why me?
Me
Me
Me
All they thought about was you
Just you
You
But you just couldn't stop thinking
Your own thoughts
Drew them away
Even then
You kept thinking
Is it me?
Why me? ?
You didn't believe
They tried
Why do you keep thinking
It was just you
Only you
But no amount of words
No touch
No demonstration
Of love
Will ever make you believe
That you were really worthy
Worthy of this
Worthy to feel the way you did
They tried
From the start, they knew
It was just that they couldn't show you
So they moved on
And now you sit
Thinking
But at the start?
Why can't I go back?
To where I didn't care?
Why did I have to give in?
Feel so attached
Trapped
I didn't mean to deter them
Your own thoughts
Worries
Unnecessary
Feelings
Anxiety
But it was so difficult
Because you couldn't control it
And you wonder
How can I feel normal
I don't want to lose
This love
Again
They won't be back
And now the worrying is gone
But they're gone too
The worrying and the love
They say it's give or take
But you just feel like it's take
Take
Take
Take
You wish you would just be taken away
To desire love
But to avoid it
Because it hurts so much
Why didn't you listen to your gut
Telling you your worries would come back
If you gave in at the start
But the craving of love was stronger
The feelings never mixed
And now you felt more unlovable than ever
Now you think
Not for a person
But to have to undergo these
Feelings
Why me?