Woman Poem by Sheena Datta


Rating: 5.0

I have lived a million lives
and died a zillion deaths
my mornings have burnt me
and my nights have left me dead
my savior has sold my soul
and my love has sought it
my protector has inflicted the wounds
and the usurper has bought it
my seed has drunk my blood
and has then drowned me in it
my own has robbed my World
and left me rotting in a ditch
my playground turned a war zone
and my honor then abused
yet I rejoice to be born
in a life as good as a sin
amidst all the wrongs hurled
there is one right
and that is my will TO BE
with all my might

Daniel Brick 10 April 2015

I clicked on this poem because I could see from the opening line quoted in your table of contents that this poem has overstated images. The word for this is overblown. There's nothing wrong with this and if you want to can just yell, Shut up! But before doing that just note how this poem overstates its case, making the speaker into a victim when she should be a contender. You have given her worthy foes but there's no contest with them, they're in the poem to represent POWER. This may have been a necessary poem for you to write; if that's the case, I apologize for being so negative. It's just that your other poems find really creative solutions in expressing strong emotion. And we always want to aim for the highest expression we're capable of discovering.

0 0 Reply
Sheena Datta 28 November 2013

thanks a lot Beauteous Victory...this encouragement is deeply appreciated...

0 0 Reply
Error Success