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Worthlessness

Negative thoughts,
All wrapped up in my brain,
Constantly racing,
Through my mind again.

Everyday and every night,
I need someone to shed some light,
As I do not wish to suffer any longer,
So I beg of you please, as a friend,
And if only you knew how much this pains me too!

This isn't an easy thing to go through,
Especially if you haven't experienced it.
So you can't imagine my pain,
The sorrow that I feel,
When everything just doesn't go right.
The lack of confidence I have,
When something doesn't work.
The emptiness I feel,
When I am unable to grasp simple concepts.
The doubtfulness I feel,
When I can't understand these simple languages,
Such as English and French.

I need to feel as if I have a purpose,
To be living happily and freely,
To feel happiness within myself,
When I do something great,
To feel like I have freedom,
When I wish to voice my opinion.
With all the constant yelling going on inside my head,
It sometimes feels as if I am worthless,
Since I cannot control this.

The pain that sticks with me now will last a lifetime,
For this pain has been the cause,
Of my reckless behavior,
And has made me do things,
That I never imagined possible.
All the damage that it has caused,
Will now last with me forever.
For I am helpless and worthless,
And no one cares,
So I guess I'll just assume that that is how it is.
Mandy Howard
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
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