Ya Never Know Until Ya Try Poem by Hyde

i love you dad.
but if only you could read this.
then you’d understand my pain.
you left me, you left me there alone.
how could you?
what was going through your head?
can’t you see that everything you touch gets hurt?
i don’t get it.
you say you loved us, my brother and me.
and yet you came home either walking on the clouds or so drunk you couldn’t stand.
you screamed at mom, you screamed at us.
down in the basement was where i felt safe.
how sad is that?
i tried to erase the things you’ve done from my memory.
but how can i? when the list just keeps growing.
you lie to the ones who love you most as if it didn’t matter.
like that time at the mall, when the cops came you said they had the wrong man.
but now i know they were right.
i always thought you just did drugs, now i know you deal them.
meth and crack, your specialties.
or how about when you had her over, and then told your kids to keep her a secret.
mom asked if she was here, you said no, and so did we.
when you were driving drunk and nearly killed yourself.
then you told mom to get your wallet from the smashed car because there was cocaine inside.
the list goes on and on and on...
what is it with you?
what guilt are carrying around?
why do you feed the poison?
you need help.
i’ve tried, and i’ve given up.
it’s up to you now, and that’s a scary thought.
face your demons, conquer them.
and know that i love you.