Randy Johnson Poems

A man has kidnapped two people and is demanding 50 million for their safe return.
But people have discovered who the two hostages are and they are not concerned.
Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are the two people who have been kidnapped.
People won't give a plug nickel for the safe return of those two pieces of crap.
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It's such a great day that it makes a man want to sing.
I'm very happy because today is the first day of Spring.
Knowing that the bitterness of Winter is over is sure to please.
Warm weather is coming and the leaves will return to the trees.
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My evil stepmother and I became lovers and we killed my dad.
We did it so that we could get all of the money that he had.
We were greedy and we made sure that Dad would Rest in Peace.
But we made a fundamental mistake, we underestimated the police.
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When it comes to underprivileged people, you are nothing but an abuser.
You believe that people who get food stamps and other free food are losers.
When a church gave free food to the poor, you said that church supports bums.
You look down on people who are less fortunate than yourself and that is dumb.
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Yesterday, I ordered a pizza and washed my hands and then I had a fit.
When I came to the table, I saw that my family was eating all of it.
They grabbed the entire pizza, they didn't even leave me one slice.
That was inconsiderate of my family, it certainly wasn't nice.
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It was my moral duty to operate and in many people's eyes, I was admired.
I did what needed to be done and because of that, I was fired.
Four years ago, a baby was born with Down Syndrome and he had a heart defect.
Because of his mental impairment, he was a baby who his parents chose to reject.
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I bought a shotgun at a flea market without knowing that it was used to commit a horrible crime.
The former owner used the shotgun to kill an entire family and I was about to have to do hard time.
The police came to my house and confiscated the shotgun.
They thought I was the guilty party, they thought I was the one.
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A British actor entertained people as Selwyn Froggitt and The Gaffer.
During his 89 years of life, Bill Maynard gave millions the gift of laughter.
He starred in a few episodes of both 'Worzel Gummidge' and 'Heartbeat'.
He starred once in both 'The Ugliest Girl In Town' and 'Coronation Street'.
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You've designed a new electric car and it's being built on the assembly line.
You've been pestering me to buy one but I never will, one of your cars will never be mine.
You want me to buy one but I'm going to pass.
Your car sucks and you can shove it up your ass.
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Three convenience store employees thought what they did was funny but I think it was cruel.
Those three people said that I won a thirty million dollar lottery and then yelled "April Fool".
They sold me a fake lottery ticket with the winning numbers.
They started laughing and said that a person couldn't be any dumber.
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