Randy Johnson Poems

Jesus was the greatest man who ever lived.
He loved to show kindness and he loved to forgive.
He resurrected the dead and made the blind see.
A couple of men wanted to stone a woman who committed adultery.
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(I got the idea for this fictional poem from Me, myself & Irene.)

You cheated on me when we were on our honeymoon.
I was afraid that you'd cheat but I didn't know you'd do it that soon.
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When I was a child, I wasn't a good sport at losing.
I took a bat to the winning team and I gave them a good bruising.
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When I won a Yamaha motorcycle, I was really thrilled.
But I've had some wrecks that nearly got me killed.
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My cousin spits lots of saliva when he talks.
If you're near him, you'll slip on the floor when you walk.
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My daughter is only thirteen and you're twenty-two.
You seduced her and now I'm going to call the law on you.
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(This is a fictional poem)

My feet are so big that I have to wear clown shoes.
People keep pointing and laughing, what am I going to do?
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This is the month when the accomplishments of black people are celebrated.
But until around 1980 the schools in Morristown Tennessee were still segregated.
That was shocking and it wasn't right.
To get to be treated as equals, black people had to fight.
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(This is a fictional poem)

When I held you in my arms for the first time, I was blessed.
I love you more than life itself, you truly are the best.
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(This is a fictional poem)

My son makes Dennis the Menace look like Opie Taylor.
He has the manners of a tyrant and the mouth of a sailor.
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