A Most Unusual Wedding - Poem by Orlando Belo
Because the bridegroom couldn't be found,
the bride was driven around and around.
Dickie and Melanie were marrying in style;
the first ever chimpanzees to walk down the aisle.
A top-notch reception at the classy Hotel Torbay,
followed by a honeymoon in Zimbabwe.
The best-man also named Dickie was accompanying the groom,
not on route, but in the local A&E waiting room.
Earlier that morning there had been a car accident,
which left the groom's legs badly broken and bent.
The best-man telephoned Melanie just to let her know,
so off to the hospital she did quickly go.
With both legs now in traction and suffering with pain,
Dickie the groom did his best to try and explain.
He also suggested that the wedding should still go ahead,
and she should marry the best-man instead.
Abhorred by what her beloved fiancé had said,
she exclaimed, 'that chimp', she would never wed.
However, by the time he had finished trying to explain,
she agreed and thought it, straightforward and plain.
She went outside and put the idea to the best-man,
he reluctantly agreed to the last minute plan.
They returned to the church and spoke to the vicar,
who agreed to the proxy without a bicker.
The wedding and reception went without a hitch,
but the trip to Zimbabwe had to be ditched.
The bride at the reception, explained the whole situation,
and thanked the best-man for his helpful co-operation.
The proxy groom nervously stood up, cleared his throat and said,
he would have rather been the one in the hospital bed.
And that one of the worst things in life that he was always dreading,
was the thought of being a spare Dickie, at a monkeys wedding.
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