yvette smith (LONDON)

The amnesiac who had forgotten that his name was Albert

Woke up one day as George


The amnesiac who called himself George


Woke up one day and forgot his name was George despite being born

Albert, and called himself Mary


Mary Shelly after his great Aunt Ada who liked to be called mary on her days off

But the amnesiac forgot why he wanted to be called mary and quickly changed his name to harry

Then one day while looking through the telephone directory to find his own address he remembered that his name was Albert


And that he had killed his dog and strangled his wife in an argument

about house work and cleaning fluids


Her body was buried somewhere in the back garden along with the dog


He was thankful that he couldn't remember exactly where


And went to bed and tried in vain

To forget it all again


When he awoke he forgot his name, was Albert

And called himself Jack, Jack the Ripper

And then he remembered he had murdered his wife and squashed the cat

He had sliced her in half with his black and decker chain saw

And mistaken the cat on the chair for a cushion


The cat was an accident he couldn't forget

He remembered that he had strangled the vet


Who he met by chance at the door

Who caught a glimpse of the cat's lifeless paw


He had seen too much to live


But Jack had a mind like a sieve

And went to bed hoping it was all just a dream

And that they were well and still lived

When he awoke he recalled that the vicar had called

And had made a scene

And he was appalled to find strange bodies heaped in the hall


Including a plumber a town crier and ex beauty queen

Plus a pensioner from number 23 and a man who had come to fix the T.V

Speechless the amnesiac returned to his bed

Swallowed a hundred blue pills

By morning his wife found him dead


The coroner reported 'Death by misadventure victim appears to have choked on his denture



A happy father of three

He liked to read and watch the T.V

He was insomniac forgetful at times

But his record was 'clean' he'd committed no crimes

He leaves behind, a wife a cat a dog three kids, a retired vicar

A plumber an ex beauty queen an anonymous man who had come to fix the T.V

And a black an decker chain saw

May he Rest In Peace