Treasure Island

tracy alcee


Behind Closed Doors


All these times I thought i was in love
All these times I thought he cared
I thought i was somebody special for him
But i was too young and to naive to
Understand
That i was just a plain
Toy for him
A toy that can open up
Whenever he likes
But that was then
And this is now...
And nothing has changed
Behind closed doors




Though i wanted to scream and shout
And let it all out
But i was afraid- I am afraid
Afraid to speak up
Because it feels so useless to
Since you was never gonna take the blame
Anyway
So were still behind closed doors
And no matter how loud I've screamed
From the pain that you've caused me
All those years
Behind closed doors

No one have ever heard me
Cause I hide the truth...
i didn't know
It wasn't my fault
TO feel defend less
And scared...
I didn't hiding the truth meant protecting you
Now that I know,
I'm too weak to say something
So were still behind closed doors

Though you wasn't the first
The first to say that beautiful
Below 13
And me being foolish enough to believe
And let you hurt me
Now that I'm 13+
Now, I know that i was just a toy/doll 4 you
I understand
That's what I was to them too:
A naive little girl
That gets fooled easily with no doubts or
Hesitation.
And that was just young and innocent.
And fragile.
Though i hesitate now, nothing has really changed
It has become, worse.
Behind closed doors.

I'm fool with hatred and disappointment
And anger.
But I'm mostly scared of untaping my mouth
Afraid that I will hear
''it was your fault! ''
Afraid of what he'll do to me
If I do.
Afraid of me taking all the blame
Afraid of the future
Afraid of myself...
Though I'm losing my mind,
I'll act as if everything is okay
Cause I'm afraid-and don't know who 2 trust
Or to turn to when I'am
Behind
Closed doors.

Submitted: Friday, November 29, 2013
Edited: Saturday, November 30, 2013

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Comments about this poem (Behind Closed Doors by tracy alcee )

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  • Claudge Ben-at (11/29/2013 8:06:00 PM)

    be strong woman/girl always. this is a challenge of your past.
    so live it up and face it down.
    we have a life and future to live in don't get destruct by this thoughts that fears you most
    behind close doors
    you wont get the things that makes you happy
    if you keep on
    behind close doors
    sparks your life like the song; fireworks;
    hope it will reflect you on it ;) (Report) Reply

Read all 2 comments »

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