Ruth Walters (London, U.K.)

When I turn my Hoover on
I usually burst into a song
for if I sing the notes all wrong
no one can hear when my Hoovers on!

I mimic Tina Turner
because she's Simply the Best
I dance like her and I prance like her
and my ‘big hair' looks a mess!

I pretend to myself that the spotlights on
and I'm wearing a gorgeous dress
Well maybe in reality
it's short shorts and a vest!

I take my bow as I dust and sweep
I curtsey very low
I collapse on the couch all in a heap
Cos' I'm getting old you know.

Well it's rotten doing housework
and it adds a bit of zing
when I'm being Tina Turner
and pretending I can sing.