Treasure Island

Manny Furious


Big Pussy- Or how Carl Sagan Gave 9-Year-Old Me a Nervous Breakdown


For as long as I can remember
I've been a big pussy.
I'm afraid of everything.
Anything
really.
If you think long and hard about
all the things that are just sitting back, stalking, chilling in the shadows
waiting
for the proper time to jump out of the ether and kill you,
you'd come up with a long list.

Just off the top of my head-
A random meteorite blazing through the universe
zoning in my my house and
bedroom and
head.
Deer and elk
that materialize out of thin air in front of my
car as I drive 80 miles/hour on the way home at 10 at night. Serial killers.
Bank robbers in a high
speed pursuit
with the police, headed for my intersection
as I head to work in the
morning. Dumb drivers. Distracted drivers.
Drunk drivers. Drivers texting on their cell-phones.
Stoned drivers. Suicidal drivers.
The roads are dangerous, my friend.
Black ice. Slushy roads. Etc.
Ebola. Swine flu. Avian flu.
Tuberculosis.
Cancer of any and all parts of
my body.
A tough piece of meat with its eyes on my esophogus.
Second-hand smoke.
Terrorists... both those at home and abroad.
Like gangstas doing a drive-by.
Or militant white supremacists survivalists.
Both are enamored with fully automatic assault rifles
with hollow tips
or white phosphorous tips
that explode on impact.
Those kinds of tools get
the job done.
I know this because they take topless pictures of themselves
with their assault rifles
and high-powered explosives and post
those pictures on facebook.
Tainted meet.
Undercooked chicken.
Tasty restaurants
that don't run a tight ship in the kitchen
and all kinds of germs and bacteria get in the tasty
food
and poison me.
Bastards.
Random acts of violence
on the streets of Denver. Stick up kids.
Gas leaks. Carbon monoxide
which I've been told
has no taste or smell. Have fun sleeping tonight.
Which I've read can also kill you.
Ask Wes Craven.
Wild bears and cougars
looking for food while I camp.
Superviruses.
Flesh-eating viruses.
Dehydration. Unforeseen allergic reactions.
Airplanes.
Earthquakes, hurricanes, tornadoes. tsunamis.
A big fucking rock I might be
climbing
as my ropes fail for whatever random act of the Universe. Lightning.
Brain parasites.
Drains in pools with no protective covering can
suck your guts out. Literally.
Let's go swimming
with
Sharks and evil jelly fish.
Electricity. Stray dogs.
I'm terrified of dogs. And they can
smell it.
My water heater can explode at any minute
if I don't keep an eye on it.
It's
true
I saw it on TV.
Stray bullets
that weren't meant for me.
Bridges collapse more often than I feel comfortable with.
Aliens.
Aliens?

I used to think aliens wanted to kill me.
I was about, oh...say 9 years old.
I was reading an article in Parade Magazine
written by
one, Carl Sagan. He was a skeptic,
but I didn't know it at the time
and I didn't learn it either, because
I never made it past the first paragraph of that article,
which described
Little grey men with heads
twice the size of their bodies.
Eyes the size of compact disks, the color
of DEATH.
Arms and legs skinny
as newborn
babes.
Emotionless
they mill around the foot of your
bed.
Diabolical detail.
What a way to wake up.
Thanks for nothing
Carl Sagan.
Actually,
thanks for the nervous breakdown that ensued.
Chaos. Bedlam in the mind.
Tears enough to give
myself a bath.
Not even mother can save me.
I'm doomed.
Three hours later
I lay in bed with my parents.
Shivering with fear.
Awake with the thoughts
of maniacal midgets from mars
intent on taking me away from my home
and slaughtering me for kicks (or science)
halfway home.
The random and totally expected
creaks and shudders of the home
let me know
THEY were here for me
now.
Nearly 20 years later
they still haven't come.
But I still haven't kicked those images.
A total pussy.

And I haven't even gone into
what happened
after I watched
Fire in the Sky.
But who would
want to read
about

That?

Submitted: Sunday, July 13, 2014

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Topic(s): fear

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Comments about this poem (Big Pussy- Or how Carl Sagan Gave 9-Year-Old Me a Nervous Breakdown by Manny Furious )

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  • Mandolyn ... (7/13/2014 11:46:00 PM)

    haha! this totally reminds me of some of the stuff i have written but never posted
    i like your brain. (Report) Reply

  • * Sunprincess * (7/13/2014 10:54:00 PM)

    ........and speaking of aliens....could the aliens have arrived last century....only we have no idea it is them....cause they are imitating humans.....not even the aliens are as scary as the guy who goes postal on the job.....at school...movie theatre....shopping mall....airport....university.....wally world....or even in your home....we must keep our guard up....nice write... (Report) Reply

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