Treasure Island

Sherrie KolbCassel

Derivative of Dull

It came up for air,
golden and white,
mottled, from underneath
a lily pad,
in that lush green
garden, where tree huggers
om in the lotus

It came up for air,
its large mouth agape,
like those one observes
from a distance. The ones
whose impatient mouths
articulate from tiny brains.

Submitted: Tuesday, December 03, 2013
Edited: Saturday, December 07, 2013

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Comments about this poem (Derivative of Dull by Sherrie KolbCassel )

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  • F. J. Thomas (8/19/2014 8:36:00 AM)

    :) had to smile on this one Sherrie; oh what a large pond of tiny minds with much to say are we surrounded by these days. Very nice ;) (Report) Reply

  • Thomas Vaughan Jones (4/6/2014 1:48:00 AM)

    Sounds like my catfish. I used to feed him whole slices of bread at a time. I never for once thought he might have percieved me to be dull. Then again, he wasn't so bright. He came up out of the warm mud into an ice age and I found him as a frozen lump on top of the pond next morning. See.. Your poems are so clever they cause me to ramble. :) (Report) Reply

  • Roseann Shawiak (1/3/2014 2:34:00 AM)

    Think I understand what you mean, especially last line - which I think is great - but not the path leading to it.
    It doesn't quite make sense. Maybe you could be a little more deliberate in explaining it. RoseAnn (Report) Reply

  • Paul Brookes (12/27/2013 3:51:00 PM)

    Derivative of Dull which is what it is as a poem it means nothing and is just pretentious drivel try reading good poetry then you might just be able to write it. Very poor verse and to it I'm adverse Oh and while your at it try Grammar lessons (Report) Reply

  • Steven Ralph (12/5/2013 11:25:00 AM)

    This is a great visual and funny too! Some mysteries floating around as well (pun intended) . Creeley-ish. Who could it be? :)

    I'd leave off the last line. Humble opinion. No need to wrap everything up in a nice bow. Let them wonder. This is as good as anything being posted on the forum. Nice job! (Report) Reply

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