is about 5-feet tall
with round shoulders
a round back
two crooked eyes
and a sloppy haircut
that he sometimes slicks back
but when he's drinking
it gets wild
like a field of buckwheat.
He's also a fuc*ing
and I once souffle'd him
through a glass table
after he challenged me to a wrestling match
because I was on the verge of bedding
some girl he went to high school with
and had wanted to bone for some time.
Or, at least,
that's the best guess I could come up with.
Several years back
my first semester at that college in Rio Frio
I was flunking a math class. The professor
told me that I would have to pass the final exam
with a perfect score
to pass the class.
I spent two days reading the math book
half understanding anything
when El Crow had invited me to a party at his cousin's house.
At first I demurred,
the test was the next day and I needed rest,
I had essentially flunked out of UNECAM
and wasn't looking forward to wasting
my father's money like that again.
Eventually I waffled
and we headed out the party.
I recognized Cruzee Moto
the moment I walked in. He had wrestled
at a rival high school
and we graduated the same year.
He was guarding all the liquor
like most fuc*faces.
We exchanged nods of recognition and he gave me a cerveza.
We talked briefly, but before I knew it
I was alone in an empty bedroom
making out with a beautiful woman
our hands down each others' pants.
I don't remember much about her
least of all her name.
But I remember she was astoundingly gorgeous
beyond my league
must've been the cerveza's
and I remember that she had gone to high school
with Cruzee Moto and was now attending school
After about 20 minutes of foreplay
the cervezas had come back to haunt me. I had to
take a leak.
But I held it in. As best
10 minutes possibly.
I knew what was coming next
and I didn't want to postpone it
one second, but I couldn't help it.
gotta go pee, '
I said finally.
The girl took it in stride.
'That's okay, I'll go
get another beer.'
So I went pee.
I walked back into the kitchen to continue
where we had left off. She said she wanted to finish
her beer and that I should wait for her in the bedroom.
I felt somebody grab me from
around my waist.
I thought it was El Crow
but when I turned,
it was Cruzee Moto
and his crooked fucking eyes
staring right at me.
'I always wanted to wrestle you'
'Yeah, ' I tried to laugh it off
'me too, but we were in different
'You never beat anyone good, '
'That's because I wasn't very good.'
El Crow pointed out that I had spent
a good portion of the prior year
wrestling at UNECAM. And that
creates a new man.
Cruzee Moto and his drunken
none of it.
Before I knew it we
were rolling around the ground.
I was so pissed off
at his cockblocking
that I let him up
and double legged him
so hard I could hear
his neck snap back
and we flew through the air
from one side of the room
to the other and ended
up on a couch at the opposite end.
He was bleeding heavily from his nose
but he wouldn't let up.
I heard El Crow say
to put him in a choke hold but
instead, I lifted him off the ground
and threw him over my head and through
a nearby glass coffee table.
The glass screamed
as it exploded all over the corner of the room and Cruzee Moto
and I spent the next 5 minutes
picking glass from out of various areas of our bodies.
After that, it was pretty late
and any magic was gone for me
(translation: not in the mood to get
a hard on) . So, like so many
nights, I didn't get laid that night
I ended up giving El Crow's cousin $20
for the table. I must've passed my
exam because I got a 'D' on my
works for the sheriff's
Rio Frio. I see him from time to time
Manny Furious's Other Poems
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Comments about this poem (Fu*kface.... by Manny Furious )
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