Treasure Island

Marilyn Lott

(5-28-42 / Washington state USA)

Halloween Epitaphs


Back Stabbing Betty haunted the cemetery
It was Halloween night and it really was scary

She saw Big Willie’s tombstone and wondered why
He had died this fatal death, she wanted to cry

Booger Eatin’ Nelda was lying there too
Never been kissed, hey, how about you?

Crazy Debby was truly a strange critter
Someone really sick of her probably hit her

Eyeball Head Harry saw things quite different
I think maybe his brain was just a bit bent

Knucklehead Ned was a kinda nice guy
Musta’ ate poison that caused him to die

Liar Liar Carolyn told so many fibs, I guess
Caught up in lies and never would confess

No Ears Eddy, the poor man didn’t hear
The train that day and he was such a dear

One Eyed Jack was so good for nothin’
Ended up buried in a cheap wooden coffin

Potty Mouth Paul said so many dirty words
Chased everyone away, even the birds

Snooty Tooty Crissie was such a snoot
Drowned in a rainstorm and no one gave a hoot

So ya gotta be so careful folks, what ya say and do
Cause all this kinda dying could happen to you!

Submitted: Sunday, October 25, 2009

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Comments about this poem (Halloween Epitaphs by Marilyn Lott )

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  • Sidi Mahtrow (10/25/2009 10:47:00 AM)

    When they come callin'
    Ask them what trick they r dealin'
    Most are just there for the candy and stuff
    And really don't have any thoughts of mischief.

    (Frighten' stuff from this
    Halloween miss
    Who's seen them all
    Fat, thin, short and tall.
    But loves them for what they are,
    'Trick or treaters' who she's willing to share.)

    s (Report) Reply

  • David Harris (10/25/2009 10:37:00 AM)

    Marilyn, I loved this amusing write. It is amazing what funny things you can find on epitaphs on grave stones. I remember reading one that read:

    Here lies Zeke the second fastest draw in Cripple Creek.

    Top marks for these and thank you for sharing them with us my friend.
    Hugs David (Report) Reply

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