adheez van der beanthz

Rookie - 34 Points (27 May 1980)


Sunk in the misguided of the deep sea
Trapped amongst the darkness wave
Whilst the sun denies the morning
And memories come back, despite had been eaten by flame

Sand bodies sprawling
Feelings heathen more sparkling
Grin of sweat so jealous
Racing, hunting, and raping the longing that ambiguous

Gust of sigh map the wounds
Pink body wallow bloods
Summarized then furled
To the ballads that never enough

The wind negotiate, the fog give applause
Drag the black into the boat
Don't know the directions, no more ray
The rest just sins, the which left only prayer


Submitted: Thursday, August 15, 2013
Edited: Thursday, August 15, 2013

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  • Rookie - 303 Points Poetheart Morgan (8/27/2013 9:36:00 AM)

    Thinking on your poem like a advice maybe i need be careful with my boat. No darkness no lost in the middle of the sea. (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 3,012 Points Hazel Durham (8/23/2013 12:18:00 PM)

    Amazing imagery rhat sweeps the reader along on a journey well worth taking!
    Beautiful write! (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 1,391 Points Kevin Patrick (8/19/2013 10:08:00 PM)

    Very song like, there is a sweetness that is not to saccharine, you paint a lovely scene of nature, you might have been lost, but I have found a delight in the journey you took me on. Than you a lot! ! ! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 12 Points Farah Ilyas (8/18/2013 11:54:00 AM)

    Theme which u have chosen, its awesome..
    magnificent in nature is ur poem
    especially selection of diction is bombastic..
    lovely poem (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 807 Points Thomas A Robinson (8/16/2013 4:50:00 AM)

    If you drag the black back into the boat will it help row. Has it sails to take us far beyond our dreams?
    Or is it full of water that fills the boat dangerously to the sinking point.
    And lost on a sea of sin with the cell phone out and only have prayer connection showing no bars?
    Indeed one is lost, so lost. (Report) Reply

  • Silver Star - 9,129 Points Heather Wilkins (8/15/2013 10:55:00 PM)

    a lovely poem.don't know the directions no more ray the rest just sins the which left only prayer. good write (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Arnav Gogoi (8/15/2013 11:28:00 AM)

    The wind negotiate, the fog give applause...nice expression...when darkness empowers you with its arms, the only light you can see is a prayer....Nice write friend (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 5,319 Points Geetha Jayakumar (8/15/2013 10:14:00 AM)

    Beautiful poem...misguided, trapped, denied, lack of directions, no ray of hope..only prayer...All the words are beautifully portrayed...Loved reading it. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 81 Points Vivek Tiwari (8/15/2013 8:37:00 AM)

    A day comes when the day comes and all the hurdles black and dusty are swept aside and the light welcomes the dawn and things are again in all visibility. Lofty theme empowered..... (Report) Reply

Read all 18 comments »

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