Ruth Walters (London, U.K.)

I went to church without knickers,
I said my hello's to the Vicker,
the service, it could have been worse
and I didn't care much for the weather.

I wanted to be so outrageous
and wanted to be so risqué,
however it would have been better
had I'd told everybody that day.

If I'd told all those prudish old men
that my knickers were home in the bin
that my bottom was bare
oh how they'd have glared
and my funny bone tickled again.