WS Gilbert


The Duke and the Duchess


[THE DUKE.]

Small titles and orders
For Mayors and Recorders
I get - and they're highly delighted.
M.P.s baronetted,
Sham Colonels gazetted,
And second-rate Aldermen knighted.
Foundation-stone laying
I find very paying,
It adds a large sum to my makings.
At charity dinners
The best of speech-spinners,
I get ten per cent on the takings!

[THE DUCHESS.]

I present any lady
Whose conduct is shady
Or smacking of doubtful propriety;
When Virtue would quash her
I take and whitewash her
And launch her in first-rate society.
I recommend acres
Of clumsy dressmakers -
Their fit and their finishing touches;
A sum in addition
They pay for permission
To say that they make for the Duchess!

[THE DUKE.]

Those pressing prevailers,
The ready-made tailors,
Quote me as their great double-barrel;
I allow them to do so,
Though ROBINSON CRUSOE
Would jib at their wearing apparel!
I sit, by selection,
Upon the direction
Of several Companies bubble;
As soon as they're floated
I'm freely bank-noted -
I'm pretty well paid for my trouble!

[THE DUCHESS.]

At middle-class party
I play at ECARTE -
And I'm by no means a beginner;
To one of my station
The remuneration -
Five guineas a night and my dinner.
I write letters blatant
On medicines patent -
And use any other you mustn't;
And vow my complexion
Derives its perfection
From somebody's soap - which it doesn't.

[THE DUKE.]

We're ready as witness
To any one's fitness
To fill any place or preferment;
We're often in waiting
At junket FETING,
And sometimes attend an interment.
In short, if you'd kindle
The spark of a swindle,
Lure simpletons into your clutches,
Or hoodwink a debtor,
You cannot do better
Than trot out a Duke or a Duchess!

Submitted: Friday, January 03, 2003

Do you like this poem?
0 person liked.
0 person did not like.

What do you think this poem is about?



Read poems about / on: sometimes, night

Read this poem in other languages

This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.

I would like to translate this poem »

word flags

What do you think this poem is about?

Comments about this poem (The Duke and the Duchess by WS Gilbert )

Enter the verification code :

There is no comment submitted by members..

PoemHunter.com Updates

New Poems

  1. Life, Proud SugarBoe
  2. When You Had Left, Poetic Lilly Emery
  3. A riddle poem, DEEPAK KUMAR PATTANAYAK
  4. Help me please, Nassy Fesharaki
  5. Math Love, Jack Spurlock
  6. PH: Nature: Canoeing the Mississippi #13, Brian Johnston
  7. More Precious Than Gold, Erato
  8. PH: Nature: Canoeing the Mississippi #12, Brian Johnston
  9. The Thatch Hut., Tony Adah
  10. This Creature is So Strange, Rohit Sapra

Poem of the Day

poet George Gordon Byron

It is the hour when from the boughs
The nightingale's high note is heard;
It is the hour -- when lover's vows
Seem sweet in every whisper'd word;
And gentle winds and waters near,
...... Read complete »

 

Modern Poem

poet May Swenson

 

Member Poem

Trending Poems

  1. Annabel Lee, Edgar Allan Poe
  2. Phenomenal Woman, Maya Angelou
  3. Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night, Dylan Thomas
  4. Still I Rise, Maya Angelou
  5. The Raven, Edgar Allan Poe
  6. If You Forget Me, Pablo Neruda
  7. Daffodils, William Wordsworth
  8. Dreams, Langston Hughes
  9. No Man Is An Island, John Donne
  10. It Is the Hour, George Gordon Byron

Trending Poets

[Hata Bildir]