Treasure Island

Michael McParland

The Highest Weight Bearing Beam

I ascend my way to the tallest sturdy beam.
The place my dignity is here to sing
it's final notes of it's last moments of feeling.
A song just for me alone through my life.
So why would I care if nobody's aware,
as my soul climbs and balances for that high sturdy beam.
First letting song tha have fulfilled my heart
and driven my sick weak soul out this far and long.
Right under that tallest sturdy beam
of weight baring foundation that holds all the top weight up.
The songs are fading now into the distance,
I shed no tears because in the cold world outside,
not a single soul cares
they won't even notice somethings gone and amiss that's my worth.
A few last breaths,
putting faith in this tall weight bearing beam that is blessed.
A whispered prayer that God will just once
feel mercy and show me an ounce of loving care.
This tallest beam of weight bearing scheme
has come to represent my station in life.
A life spent in mostly isolation completely alone,
only fitting here in this place no one will notice or miss,
a diseased form of life that's much less than human.
Finally now escape from judging hurtful loneliness
that feels no connections.
When he thought he had found it,
painfully became clear they did not understand
or see the way he tried and unique and strange moves.
Their all just like that,
Proof I'm a low creature of little worth.
How could they like me?
I'm not a thing which is solid and stable,
just an unstable component,
completely strange and makes them uncomfortable.
Enough ruminating this weight bearing high beam,
is now my relief of which not one person cares.

Submitted: Monday, September 15, 2014

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Topic(s): suicide

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