Mandolyn ...


the sea dogs bark


his heart chose to walk on stilts
over juniper trees, beyond coyote blood
smeared into the sunrise...
he searched for my shortcomings,
found traces of my mood
stuck to the deserts dashboard-

he blew a warm wind through his teeth
lifting my cactus breath;
he scooped my lips like water
with his sea-drenched hands,
carried me to the tide and said
it was time for me to get wet-



(for David)

Submitted: Friday, August 08, 2014

Topic(s): love


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  • Veteran Poet - 3,100 Points Daniel Brick (8/8/2014 11:14:00 AM)

    The sensory impact of heat in this poem is to the extreme. It burns the page. It's a place so hot you have to walk on stilts over the landscape. Even people's breaths are hot. But there's relief coming. It begins in this memorable image: HE SCOOPED MY LIPS LIKE WATER/WITH HIS SEA-DRENCHED HANDS. And soon the two of you are at the water's edge, ready to be refreshed by immersion. As always your language is exciting to read, and not all meant to be paraphrased. But there is a strong theme running through the poem of the man bringing
    relief to the woman, who is appreciative, lovers helping each other as it should be. (Report) Reply

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