I own my pain in the back of my head
All the endless nights of shame ruining
My life all the same, all in vein
My broken life, running on pain
...
If today I could make time stand still I would change one thing
If today I could turn back time, I would make one change
If today I could run away I would run backwards into my past
If today I could make a decision it would be the right one.
...
I am writing down my Memoirs
Just in case one day I forget
All the meaningless, careless words
I never even meant, but said.
...
I'm going to sing you a song
Not a poem just a silly song
Not a love song or a rhyme
Just a plain old fashioned lullaby
...
Regardless, I am abundantly broken
With my hands tied behind my back
Eye set one on me and one on you
Breakable a chain of emotions
...
I'm drawing a picture
A random drawing of me
Lines across my face
Blood against my wrists
...
Rapid racing surrounding my thoughts
And emotional rollercoaster all or not
My hart pounding with anger
Frustration building bridges in my head
...
With a hint and a smile, is how I left
Never intended, never even said.
With the voices of the Angels caressing my soul
I sang the songs of a thousand doves just for us.
...
I sinned and destroyed
My own humanity
When I look I see nothing
When I feel I feel guilt
...
If I could make a deal with God
Id be running up a hill with you
Id be running up this road now
Nothing would stop this rush in me
...
Just one look can make you go still
Just one blink of an eye can break you
Just one slap can destroy you
But one person with love can make you
...
Mamma, daar is in my siel verswelg
N duisternis vasgesmelt net vir jou
Woorde onbetwis, onverfynd, ingeperk
Mamma dis daar gebere net vir jou
...
In a blink of an eye you can be
An angel all for us and all at once
Just as well you can change
In the devil with fury in your eyes
...
Every once in you life bring in a change
Make a day worth while and laugh
Open your eyes and see the wonders
Create your story to tell someday
...
Born and raised in South Africa. Traditional farm girl who grew up with one older sister and two younger brothers. Married at 21 and had my twin boys at age 27. They are my pride and joy. My first Poetry Journal was just published (2017) the fruit of my past. Memoirs by Katie Pelser. Available on Amazon. I am learning to love life.)
You Left Me
I own my pain in the back of my head
All the endless nights of shame ruining
My life all the same, all in vein
My broken life, running on pain
It was all done by yesterday
You took your heart and fled away
You left me standing in the rain
Drops dripping of me just like the shame
I wrecked my soul and drained my pain
Peace came over me the day you admitted
Your love is not as strong as you believed
You left me standing out in the snow
He came running back to these arms of mine
His love, his life, his forgiveness light my way
Shame bleeds within my body of adultery
Where did I change my mind to be with you?
You left me standing in the rain with my pain
You left me crying in the snow freezing cold
You left me with the shame and the fear
You left me all alone, aching within me, all in vane