Anna Pine

Why do i spend so much of my time,
when there is so little time in my life,

trying to be a perfect person for folks who will love me no matter what i do?
...

as eyes turn skyward for prayer
or listlessness
or hope
for inspiration
...

what is lonely
its not being alone because i am not alone but i still feel lonely

am i happy like this? many acquaintances and lots of friends but none who are there for the long haul.
...

what does brave mean?

how do i be brave
...

I see every side of you.
The broken inside with jagged edges- the hurt that sometimes tracks down your cheeks on rough days- the kind soul that tries to put on a brave face each day.

I notice it all- the downward slope of your shoulders holding the weight of other people's problems- the tiny smiles, real ones that rarely show- how you wring your hands when you're worried
...

I see you trying so hard each day
I notice how you hold your head up even as you carry the weight of everything on your back
I know you are doing your best and its good enough
...

its only pain' whispers the worse version of me who sits on my left shoulder. i listen and push through.
'pain doesn't kill' she says 'it'll eventually fade' she tells me
i always listen
i dont know why
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i loved then got left
i was loved then i left
we never loved and both left
...

when the swimmer drowns we know that our world is wrong.

the high schooler who wakes up early every day to go to the pool for practice.
take your mark, go.
...

how dare you say that i didn't try hard enough
how could you throw the words at me that if only i was around more... the 'if only' will never fix this

don't you think that if i had the power to go back and save him from himself- i would. I'd trade my life for his every day. if i could save his soul from this messy, fragmented world,
...

If I kiss you will you kiss me back?
If I call at 3am will you answer?
If I tell you you're pretty will you believe me?
...

most people don't know what it's like to be not just lonely but truly alone. most have never known what it is like to be nothing.

to those who know that feeling like it's an old friend, always there around the corner, only poking its head out when you start to smile and have a good day-
i say sorry.
...

In time this hurt will pass. Scars will forever stay- but the wound will heal.
I promise
...

She asked me while I was sobbing- what makes you happy?
I didn't have an answer I could say

My heart screamed one hundred different things
...

In the morning, a fresh start. Bright eyed and bushy tailed. Born ready for whatever the day has planned for me.

The rain falls and the sunrise lights the drops on my window, the colors of warmth—energy, and happiness.
...

My heart is guarded
Blocked from the world

My trust doesn't come easily. Not after you.
...

Stop- Wait- Hold on- Don't go

Just take a moment, and look around you
Really see all the details
...

Frail, weak, sad, grey, alone, lonely, me?
So many of your words hurt.
Why is it that i can only remember the ones that sting and burn? I know we had goo times but the sounds you fling at me in anger lodge deep in my soul and no matter how hard i try i know that your words will never leave me
...

lonely and alone are different nightmares cut from the same cloth

when she wakes she realizes that both are true and the nightmare was a premonition
...

Up in the air

Above all the heads of
...