Azul Noir

I wake from a dream
I fall back in
So vivid but unclear
Fading out, falling in
...

I'm sick of needing nothing more to smile
I'm sick of friends who just won't let me fall
I'm sick of sunshine without clouds
And rainbows ten times in every mile
...

Given like glass whole and clear
trust is broken by your fear
broken trust lies in pieces
dropped as my heart freezes
...

I am hesitant to go too far too fast
To repeat not only the good, but the failures of the past
I struggle to find words to describe, not only the love I have,
but also the surreptitious fear that I hide
...

Here we go again
Testing lessons learned
Falling over my own fear
Saved by a stranger
...

A small seed springs to life.
Happy. Carefree. In Control.
Firmly planted in its place.
Growing. Learning. Sure.
...

A chair creaks, a clock ticks - and silence
The air hums, a door thuds - more silence
My need for you is quietly constant
We wait, my need and I, in silence
...

I stepped out into the open
I was much too damned outspoken
I said more than I should have said
It's real now. It exists separately to my own thoughts.
...

In my everyday I feel you
In my thoughts your thoughts are mine

In a moment's wondering
...

A chance encounter thrills us
A first date, first kiss, first fight follows
I change, you change and we grow
With change the widening gap starts to show
...

In those fleeting and innocuous moments
We unknowingly and invisibly intertwined
My desire inextricably fused with yours
An uncalled entanglement formed
...

I'm angry. I'm hurt. I'm sorry.

I should have saved you, like you saved me.
Maybe if I told you. Maybe if you knew.
...

We're on the edge
It's a fragile ledge
I lose my balance
I lose myself
...

Big houses, small towns,
small flats in big cities,
some smaller than others,
some bigger than most.
...

Darkness pierced by bright light
Right now I'd like to fight
Fire erupts and consumes
As people push and fight to move
...

In the night your voice broke through my pain
Calming my restless dreams
They faded together and left like a vapour
You became real and I lived in you till I died
...

The greatest disappointment is a dream turned to reality
For each real thing is destined to mortality
Every dream made real loses its perfection
To be ripped apart by life's reflection
...

Today perfection failed
His mother mourns his loss
His mother's love has faltered
One more nail for his cross
...

The rain pours down and splashes up.
One car goes by, then two.
Deja vu. Once again my thought on you.
Last time an empty street
...

I travel towards a house that's not a home
My home is on a hill burnt down
Burnt by the love of money and fame
Burning before we crashed
...