Cosi Celeste

I notice that when you walk by,
you notice me.
I catch you catching sight of me,
and smile when you smile at me,
...

I called you to meet me
It's been more than a year.
You talked without noticing me across the table.
My car's in the shop...
...

You crossed my path while still deliberating a different notion.
Charming and precocious you took me by surprise.
Once inside, you took hold of me…something stirred deep within me.
We flirted shamelessly.
...

It wasn’t my intention to hurt you,
I was just collecting things.
My cell phone, my job, my apartment,
the things that I so often left.
...

I felt you in my heart today.
I don't want you in my heart.
I want you in my head.
If I think of you and don't feel you,
...

Tethered by a string you bounce attracted by every breeze.
All I can do is watch the dance from below
as you move to the left, then down, then straight up into the sun.
The string that connects us grows taut
...

There's a newness burning in my pocket that yearns to escape.
I keep ignoring it deferring to the path I've walked instead.
Still I feel its tug when I see the sun emerge, or watch a bird in flight.
I sense its presence heat my thigh when I pass a mirror and catch my smile.
...

There’s a space between me and me that won’t be closed.
It’s who I was and who I am that seems so absurd.
I can’t look back, but I feel something remains there that I need.
Part of me pushes forward…curious for what’s ahead.
...

I didn’t come to right a wrong
I’m well beyond that slight.
I hardly think of you at all
I dream with lucid conscience.
...

I give up trying to change helium into hydrogen.
I give up trying to change no to yes.
I give up trying to see without my glasses.
I give up trying to run when I should walk.
...

You can taste the cornmeal scent in the air.
Women move back and forth,
their hair in a tight bun,
laughing about last night.
...

This is for Hobbes...my beautiful miniature schnauzer.

I awoke knowing you were leaving.
For years I’d felt you next to me as we slept,
...

Forgive me for not having left her
I wanted to will her to love me
how humiliating.
...

You.
I worked so hard to keep you.
I gladly gave my pride away.
I lived my choices through your eyes.
...

On the shelf next to the incense holder…
that’s where I finally came to rest.
A conversation piece…
admired and never picked up.
...

It never happens all at once.
It always happens painfully and slowly.
There are words not said,
and silences that scream in voids where love existed.
...

A good job…
Good health…
Family…
Money in the bank…
...

First cause....
soup....
no.
chance...
...

This Light that fills the senses, but does not blind.
What Light is this?
Some say it’s wisdom
others say it’s knowledge,
...

I am such a fool to keep believing that things will change between us.
They won’t change.
It’s always just more of the same.
More screams, more words, more pain.
...