Last Wish Poems

I'm a monster through and through
I know you see it to
Living in seclusion
In their eyes everything I do is wrong
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Only given toys and games a life so material
No one notices you feeling so ethereal
So jealous of storybooks, Disney’s fails
Because that love only happens in fairytales
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It doesn't matter that I'm just a shadow enveloped by a flesh and bones shell
A voice that lashed out at god for everything wrong in the word, like a radical seizing the moment, his chance to rebel

Blaming entities for the results of choices we made
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I've seen your art from years alone.
cuts so deep almost to the bone
I'll tailor your wounds stitches woven of words with emphasis so strong
A thousand painful lyrics never said, a silence you sang to long
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Beaten, scarred and forgotten by those who never cared
Hours in the darkness time never shared
Alone and lost, never found
Shadows on my wall paint stories of heroes renowned
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Home is a place of safety so dictates social morality
But what if imagination is the only hope against a bitter reality
So afraid to leave and go
Though staying is a terror all it's own
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Welded and cut by saws and fire, sparks fly like tiny embers lighting up the darkness as pieces of my heart fall away until there are no more. The pieces of metal and shattered porcelain that once was my heart now lie scattered across the floor. I wish to shut down the gears that propel me forward, I want them to stop, to halt. Gears so rusted they shouldn't be feasibly able to move. Amidst the chips and cracks still they turn those rusted gears. Reaching out as if something they want was placed right in front of them, something i want, something I'm searching for but will never have. and still the gears they forever rotate, always thinking they are, and yet never getting closer. how do I give to someone something I have always been without. Yet i know it so earnestly well the one thing i crave, the only three syllables i wish to hear, the very words I've always been denied.The word loveless imprinted on a rusty nameplate that hangs half off my body by a single screw. though, with these gears that lie within cogs of the wheels that never change, change becomes the only constant that remains the same' in my world of eternal loss. A world where love does not exist, where compassion is meaningless. This world as cold as the machines that dwell within, whose hearts are filled with the blackest corrosion and hate. You may call it fate but to me it's just bad programing. I reach out to you yet my arms stay at my sides, I call out to you though all i scream is silence. The only sound comes from my corroding cogs and decrepit pistons that will continue to turn and pump until they're nothing more than dust. I'd wait an eternity, but even machines inevitably fall apart. Soon the eyes I used to gaze upon you will flicker and the light will slowly die. While i sit in this dark corner I use my finger to trace the cracks in my outer porcelain shell glancing up ever so slightly from time to time to stare at the only star that shines through my window, its name is love, i named it after you. So, please find me before my gears stop. Before i am swallowed by the clockwork of time.
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From a hill I watch another sunset end
its not unlike the rise and fall of men
Like good and evil are at eachothers throats again
As if tyranny has slain justice
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Trying to do my work
Though in my head distracting thoughts still lurk
Subconsciously fighting to understand who I am
Not able to keep focus like my mind was sprayed with pam
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Looking at myself in the mirror
Darkness swelling in my heart, is there a cure
Watching my white wings slowly fade to grey
Names and labels, watching my feathers fall away
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