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Sitting here in my bureau Staring out the window The sun is shining But inside my heart it is raining My thoughts are many miles away Catching myself to think of knives cutting my veins Catching myself to think cutting my veins would make me happy Catching myself to get grip of the knife in front of me Catching myself trying the blade at my pulse Catching myself that this excites me Catching myself longing for death But then my thoughts are coming back to the here and now I'm still sitting in my bureau Staring out the window Watching the shining sun Whereas it rains out of my bright green eyes Catching myself to notice it isn't a dream - it's the here and now.. .
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