Sitting here in my bureau
Staring out the window
The sun is shining
But inside my heart it is raining
My thoughts are many miles away

Catching myself to think of knives cutting my veins
Catching myself to think cutting my veins would make me happy
Catching myself to get grip of the knife in front of me
Catching myself trying the blade at my pulse
Catching myself that this excites me
Catching myself longing for death

But then my thoughts are coming back to the here and now
I'm still sitting in my bureau
Staring out the window
Watching the shining sun
Whereas it rains out of my bright green eyes

Catching myself to notice it isn't a dream - it's the here and now..

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