What have I done…
Why is this so?
Misery chases me, or is it me who embraces it?
I´m not a believer of karma, nor faith, or people
...
I don’t like to go to bed, even though sleeping is my favorite pass time.
My partner feels like a corpse, lying next to me,
Cold and unwanted.
It smells bad too, this bed.
...
In an instant of time, he comes to mind like this metamorphosis never was.
It was, in fact,
an uninterrupted taste of utopia – that fragment of my life span.
Long ago, still ripe in my mind and my heart –
...
I fell in love with a country once.
An entire land mass embodied by a single face.
His face, it enchanted me.
Passions full, so much to go around.
...
I dream of sunny meadows,
where by my side she´s near.
Her eyes so blue they pale the sun,
watch me skip through dry grasses.
...
Tick tock the pendulum churns,
mocking the monotony -
which remains a secret to the one I yearn.
Or pretend to yearn for, as I play house.
...
Foreign body heat,
constricting my chest.
Unknown hands upon my back.
a gentile pat – feels like a caress.
...
Her doe-like eyes swell with bewilderment.
How one so dear can betray?
Heart in hand, what a generous giver –
But to give is not always better.
...
On a cold stage, a pile of people before me,
I wonder what the hell I am doing there.
I know that one, the one with the wet curls,
sweating like always.
...
My Angel -
We have silent conversations,
across the seas – though words cannot be heard.
my skin prickles at the thought,
...
I can see it now,
the long asile up ahead.
Where a river of crimson awaits me -
separating our two hearts.
...
One bothered night,
I hopelessly tried
to draw closure to
this self-inflicted misery.
...
My mind fights the memories,
Threatening to seep into sight.
And before I can stop it,
The hand of nostalgia reaches forward –
...
Startled, by this trembling pound.
Standing, my feet planted on the ground.
But my world slipping six feet below my soles -
...
Big Girl Pants
What have I done…
Why is this so?
Misery chases me, or is it me who embraces it?
I´m not a believer of karma, nor faith, or people
and I don´t believe in me, either – not anymore.
Age has hit me, no longer a child.
Though I act just the same,
Inside my head. I yearn for my mom –
And his big hands don´t compare.
For the first time in my pathetic life,
I am alone. I am alone.