I am going through change right now. I am overcoming some painful childhood crap that I didn't even realize had affected me until I began analyzing my need to control. My 'Control Addiction' is having a negative impact on my marriage, my family, and my spirit.
Last year I had a blue butterfly with eyes in the wings tattooed on my upper back.
The butterfly is a symbol of change, growth, and joy. Life is an ever changing thing. If our minds and hearts are open, we can make new choices every day. We have the power to transform our own lives every moment of every day. Every choice we make, every change we allow enables us to grow into the person we are meant to and want to be. Through growth into our true selves, we can find true joy.
Blue is the color that speaks to me the most. It represents peace, calm, stability, security, and loyalty. These are attributes I want to remind myself of daily, striving to sincerely attain them.
Eyes are the gateway to the soul. They are also a symbol of our awareness. I enter this changing time in my life with full awareness, observing my surroundings and taking responsibility for my choices.
Who can I trust with my deepest secrets?
Who can I trust when my world falls apart?
When everyone's lying and deceiving
Who can i trust with my heart?
...
I think I am loved
And then I think not
I hide my true feelings
And then feel distraught
...
I wish I knew
What I could do
to repay this debt
Because the feelings
...
When times get rough
He says be tough -
Don't cry, control yourself,
Put hate upon the shelf.
...
I was forced to fight
In someone else's war.
He held to me tight
And made me kill some more.
...