lil miss

you called me darling
but you caused me pain
you told me you loved me
but was it all in vain?
...

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are ya catchin' what i'm throwin'?
are ya reapin' what i'm sewin'?
are ya sniffin' what i'm blowin'?
are ya smokin' what i'm growin'?
...

now you sit there, crying, feeling miniscule,
your face is so blank yet you look so insecure,
you can't drown your sorrows but you're drowning anyway,
your heart gets colder as you grow older but you say it's just childs play,
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i'm over the sappy pathetic stories
i wanna write poetry about my glories
either that or killing, its a two track mind
speakin' of either one of 'em helps me unwind
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your eyes, those lips, the way you smell...
this secret is too good to tell...
but sometimes its too much to hide...
the way i feel about you inside.
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never written about a man because i'm yet to understand one,
all the ones i've trusted made me wish i had a handgun,
i'll expose their brains like they've exposed my soul,
i'll leave their bodies full of holes,
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black 'n' red dreadlocks,
bedroom door deadlocked,
tape over the hinges,
so nobody see's syringes,
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i asked her straight out, 'who will it be? '
'are you gonna choose him or you gonna choose me? '
she pauses and replies 'i honestly dont know'
and she leaves me hangin' right there in limbo
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i'm a dreamer & i dont need to sleep to be dreamin'
& swear to God, thats dumb luck
cos i been havin' trouble sleepin'
that's why i get f*cked up
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picked at, pulled at, torn to pieces..
the invasion of privacy never ceases.

empty shell, hollowed out..
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you come and go like you don't belong,
every place fits so wrong,
gypsy lifestyle and mysterious eyes,
there's more to you than you imply,
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woke up screamin 'f*ck the world' today,
though i screamed it last night too,
my sunny days are now so gray,
but for years my skies were blue.
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try'na sleep
countin' sheep
but skippin' two
while pictures of you
...

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i try to gain weight
but somehow i keep it off
things start to taste
like the things im eatin' off
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i thought i was in love with the one i lusted,
but she messed me up, so its done 'n' dusted,
tellin me lies, professin' her love,
that lyin' so&so will send me above,
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one day it just happened...
she went berserk, she got flaky,
her brain was cracked, she went crazy,
she got mental, she got mad,
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no longer will you pull my strings,
'cause i'm movin' onto better things.
things that don't bring me pain,
things that leave my heart unslain.
...