Matt Render

I'm lucky to have
Someone I can call at night
When nothing is alright
And I don't see the light
...

The quiet of longing
Footsteps shuffling along
The streets after a hot rain
A heart that's lost it's murmur
...

It's midday outside a brothel
Pacing through the alleyway
Sunlight is cloaked in shadows
Of brick tenements
...

I'll let her borrow
That blood-stained cardigan
With Splotches of ink
Seeping through the fabric
...

Today I decided
I'd step outside
I dont know why
But I did
...

No, please, don't.
this is exactly how it was supposed to go
Dry drunk and stuck
to that dark spot on the floor
...

She asked me why
I even bother writing this all down
It's as good a question as any
Too good to answer, really
...

Life is fine
When you're a corpse
In the backseat of a convertible
You can feel the wind
...

I'm calm
And I'm patient
As I watch her eyes move
I have a heartbeat and
...

I'm okay with dying
I'm okay with living too
But I'm more okay with dying.
This is not a cry for help.
...

I'm riding the night bus
And just a little contagious
Haven't had a cigarette
In six months
...

It's not a cause
For alarm
He's lost
And he has been for so long
...

I followed him to the edge
In his sketches of madness
Through sleeping parks
In the oncoming darkness
...

Another hungover morning
With eyes held together
Cobwebs of reverie
Oblivion and dread.
...

You used to love me enough to show up
When my head was down and buried
You'd appear with a hooked hand and extend it down my velvet red esophagus to pull the words right out of me
You don't do that anymore
...

I'm clearing off the days checklist
There's only really two things on it
The first:
To go for a walk
...

Saturday morning
Here comes dad
Down the stairs
Tanned and muscles budging
...

In the middle of winter
The insects die from the cold
And not much can live out here
But stolid winds
...

You'll have to excuse me
I never learnt how to dream
If this all sounds drab and boring
That's because it is
...

Why I picked up smoking

Because I'm invincible
And even if I'm not
...