6/6/06 Poem by Juanita Richardson

He sparked my interest
when he tried to claim me
hours of conversation
i gave him a chance to know the real me
maybe my judgement was clouded
still i dont regret when i think about it
it was him who was feeling me
until i let him feel the inner me
He said he was a nice guy
and that like the others
would always finish last
i told him i was a different type
and just trying to get over my difficult past
He didn't hesitate in conversation
but what i really wanted to know about him
wasn't something i was able to ask
i told him that he looked exactly like my ex
maybe that was bad
but
i told him he looked better
he just smiled
which made me laugh
he came during the storm
right in the middle
but he left and never came back
i remember him saying i wasnt ready
but i convinced him that i was
even though we both knew
that it wouldnt be love
it was infactuation
impulsive attraction
just lust
still i would have accepted a little more
but he wouldnt give me enough
so what if i gave it up
i had never actually had that impulse
such attraction
such desire
he set my soul on fire
the mark of the beast
the 6th day of the 6th month of the 6th year
still it didnt matter to me
i gave it up
more than once
it had never before been that easy
did he believe me
well i guess it doesnt matter
he said i was his first
i bet he didnt know chocolate could be so sweet
he knew my history
maybe he wasnt ready for me
i just wanted to be in his arms
he said something about my poetry
said it scared him
but its what frees me
so looking back on my last
moments of passion
im the one laughing
because he doesnt really know me
he had the chance to
but instead he had to flee
unexpected
unaffected
and entirely too cowardly for me