9 Wee Poems Poem by Sheena Blackhall

9 Wee Poems

1.God's Wellies

Whenever I pass a fig tree fruit
I think of God in his birthday suit
Out in his wellies, (green, to boot)
God with his hoe in his birthday suit

2.Scottish toupees

Scottish toupées, ginger, red
Made to fit the Scottish head

Sullan Voe to Glasgow Green
Every balding Braveheart's dream

When you pop them in the drier
Scottish toupéeswhirl like fire


3.Mary Winston's underpants

Mary Winston's underpants
Cater for four days of wants

Mondays to the front they face
Tuesdays, backwards is their place

Inside out, two days they flit
Four days recycling stains of s…


4.Wees

Everytime you do a wee
Think of its many uses
Romans cleaned their teeth with pee
That handiest of juices


5.The Poetry Bird

The humming bird flies backwards
It can go in reverse
Which proves it's a poetic bird
Because it made this verse


6.Giraffe

The giraffe has a tongue that's black and long
To clean its ears with zeal
It wipes the bubbles from its nose
Before the snots congeal


7.Frieda the Friesian

Frieda the Friesian has stomaches
All 7 for chewing the cud
And when the cud's finished digesting
Plip-plop it's excreted like mud


8.Snail

How would you like to be a snail?
It can sleep for three hours or more
Imagine if you were married to one
And all it did was snore!


9.Spaceman's Nappy

A Maximum Absorption Garment's
What a spaceman wears
When he's off doing moonwalks
And gets caught short unawares