raised by wrong
strengthened by lies
toughened by stares
from hateful eyes
broken thoughts
and hurt filled cries
confused and cussed at
by those
lost in a sea of sin
now he is whole
sin forgiven
Rebuilt, Revamped and Overhauled
a shining smile
a loving heart
through greatful eyes
and positive thoughts
tears of joy
he has been saved
thanks to his girl
he met one day
ten months now
an still going strong
he has gotten so far
without doing wrong
plans of marriage
a life of gold
now he is happy
and wants to grow old
(it is now a year and six months, we are still happy together and getting
closer to marriage)
Alright, you still need to work out on your sentence structure, choice of right words and theme.The message of a happy ending is not strong enough.As a whole, you do have a talent.Keep it up Rudi.
please comment on this poem. i am a novice and would love some guidelines
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
Your opening stanza is very powerful. Sustain your style throughout as you change the mood.