A Starless Crusade Poem by Alexander Romanov

In the realm of dreams, I sought to ascend,
To be a star, a light that wouldn't wane or bend.
But fate decrees, with a somber decree,
No radiance for me, no celestial decree.

Neither vibrant beam nor flickering glow,
When darkness befalls, my light won't show.
Years I've lived, a tally of time,
Yet they hold no sway, no reason or rhyme.

Illness and doctors, they fade from sight,
Irrelevant players in my starless night.
Condemned to a life that's confined and confined,
From window to peephole, my existence defined.

Yet if you linger, beyond my left gaze,
Torture my thoughts, in enigmatic ways.
Caress my being, with allure and grace,
Whisper sweet lies, entwined in embrace.

Lie to me, proclaim a starry fate,
That love awaits, an illusion I create.
I succumb to the ruse, with bittersweet delight,
Rejoice, oh demon, in your cunning sleight.

Crown me with horns, deride my sense,
Mock me with gestures, your twisted pretense.
No longer can I share my inner fire,
With those seeking warmth or a smoke's desire.

No star shall I become, no luminous glare,
I'll swallow my pills and embrace slumber's lair.
In the realm of fools, my talent concealed,
On the field of wonders, my fate was sealed.

The doctor's decree, a cold, bitter truth,
No radiant gleam in her ocean, forsooth.
A nurse, reeking of spirits, delivered the blow,
No stardom for me, too early I'd glow.

And then, as he read the lines in his palm,
No smoke left to kindle, a cruel, final psalm.
Stars withheld their favor, destiny's decree,
Each mole on my flesh a call to the bed, you see.

The candle wanes, melting into the night,
No stardom for me, a truth taking flight.
For stars, in their distant realms, remain aloof,
My journey's end, devoid of celestial proof.