A Tribute to Tiger Mom
I.
Tiger moms are real
They are not figments of our imagination
They roar at us when we make mistakes
we sobbed and whimpered like tortured animals
in their presence.
Their claws sharpened
by centuries of ancestral bickering.
In the eyes of tiger moms
there is only one form of love—
tough love.
We compare our tiger moms with white mommies
we see on TV
secretly wishing we were born with lighter pigmentation
Our naive selves long to develop strong,
confident
egos
so we can win
battles against our white counterparts
on the school yard
during recess.
My tiger mom wanted to prepare me for a cruel and unjust world
where i can fend for myself
because that is the world she grew up in.
Perhaps
unconsciously
intuitively
instinctively
she knew
i would experience
racism
heterosexism
all kinds of isms.
Underneath this tiger is an abandoned little girl
who forgot how to laugh,
how to weep,
how to reach out,
to hold your hand,
to say "I love you"
This little girl wanted to ensure
that i will always know
how to read
her language.
this little girl
held on tightly
to education
to language
to communication.
so as i sit by the window watching the white kids
play tag in the park
i recite
poems from Tang dynasty.
Not every tiger moms are teachers back home
not every tiger moms marry violent men
not every tiger moms become astronaut parents
Some are even capable of compliments.
my tiger mom gave me a gift
that i, as a child,
did not understand how to appreciate
the gift of being literate
in my own mother tongue.
It is a gift that caused Canadian born Chinese kids
to label me Fresh
Off the Boat.
A FOB.
As an adult, this gift is unimaginable
amongst Chinese community
How is it possible that one can speak fluent English
and also read Chinese?
Impossible.
"How old were you when you came? "
as if my language skills define
who i am.
This gift created an envy
i never understood.
but i assure you
there would be no envy
had you known how much tears
were shed in the process of keeping
my
mother's
tongue.
II.
Saturn return takes approximately
28-30 years to occur.
i begin to yearn for roots
to dig through Chinese sources
to unravel mysteries of 5000-year-old histories
analyze the need to critique Mao Ze Dong and Confucianism
to embrace Daoism and read Lu Xun
to commemorate June 4th
to value deep bonds and exchanges with FOB friends
to follow Hong Kong's Umbrella Movement
to value Taiwanese indie musicians
i begin to cook
Rice
i begin to study Chinese medicine
i begin to dry up my tears
i begin to forgive
my mother
i begin to forgive the child in me
the child who did not understand the power of language
the child who did not care for ancient classics
the child who could not fathom colonialism
or cultural genocide.
the child who could not imagine an adult's hunger
to reconnect with genealogical stories
or the commitment of healing
ancestral traumas.
Tiger mom's tough love
is in essence
the gift
of empowerment,
healing,
and resilience.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem