A Visit To God Poem by Niken Kusuma Wardani

I knock on Your door
Quietly step in Your presence
I always see You busy
Or is it my excuse?

You look up and smile
I starred at the floor
“How are you, dear? ”
I sit trying to ease myself

This little table stood between
You don’t mind distance
All my mind and feeling
Barely show in Your will

“I thought you were happy”
I lost for word again
“Am sorry, I…ask too much”
I mean what I say

“This is your dream”
You try to remind me
“This is what you feel in your every second”
I shake my head to deny the truth

I let a sigh and try to meet Your gaze
How would I fool you?
You bared Your breath and blood
“What more can I do for you? ”

Tears stream down
“You are too kind”
“…still you’re not happy”
I wonder if human can be happy

“But why? Why do you let me? ”
You smile, “I didn’t. It’s always your will that count”
“Why even dream can’t bring happiness? ”
“It’s for you to know and learn, my dear”

“What am I to do. God? ”
“What do you want to do? ”
My question lost and replace
I close my eyes in despair

“I know you’d been there-
What they feel, what you gain-
Is it worth, my dear? ”
Your words pleading in my ear

“Can I just back to old time?
When dream remain as it? ”
You smile wisely
“It is there to finish and conclude”

I stand up and nod briefly
My mind and emotion rattled in space
I intend to leave, the visit is done
But not my question, it just started…