A What Am I Trying To Do? Poem by Bullion Grey

I am working with the highest value known to humankind: Love.
The ultimate technology, for the ultimate good.

I have chosen to express this Love through feeding hungry, finding work for the unemployed, inspiring others, and advocating for Self-Education.

This having been led up to by a lifetime of confusion and frustration as almost a lost existence. In my school years I remembering not having answers for questions asked, not being able to even study as I didn’t know what that word meant.

These questions I felt deep down didn’t need answering anyway, not for this soul. I knew some how that if I had no answers for why I existed, that no other answers would count anyway. I first had to know the answer of my life, why I was and what I was called forth from Mystery to do.

Being a guideless person without understanding.
Once in art class I drew a candle, on a single candle stand. Burning it was and the words I wrote with crayola were: 'I am a candle that lights dark places.' That was my gift, but at the time I didn’t know. I found this drawing years later in old boxes in my mothers garage. I still have it. A sort of testament to my destiny.

As I orbit this strange place I feel confusion at times.
Today my work is the same. Although I often feel lost and displaced. Sometimes everything seems like a movie that I am in, with all the things one would feel while watching a movie in a theater. Every once in a while I get conscious of it, the movie I live. Then I recede back into the life I am living. So many efforts, so many times allowing glimmering chances to know what I was not to forget.

I ask what is possible from here.

Then realize all is possible, but much not likely, a few things probable.
What am I trying to do?
Live and be within the settings Source has set me in,
without tears or anger or confusion or frustration; but with Love.