A Witness To Life Poem by Cynthia Thomas

Is it stupid if I want to die
Although the world to me, is not very sly
Is it funny if I cry
Even though I know I can still try

My existence seems unwanted
And I feel like I'm haunted
The incessant beating, the throb of my heart-
Its driving me crazy, ripping me apart

I will be overjoyed
If only something can fill this void
Its an empty space for long I've fought
Now its eating me, inside out

The joy of giving, the purpose of living
Oh, it all boils down to believing
I wish I could see-
A new me, and let the old self flee

I thought I had found love
The world felt fragrant as ginger and clove
Alas, I should've been on guard
Against the imposter and the fraud
Who live inside me
And have now stung me like a bee

I let my dreams be my definition
Oh! I felt one with all Creation
Little did I realize- it wasn't my vitality
But my desperate run away from reality

How pathetic, what a sorry story
Like in the old tales, will I find a fairy?
Frustrated with my futile attempt,
I wish I could live a life- agile and unkempt

Free as the wind, free as the rain
Feeling no sorrow, fear or pain
Adorned by my Faith in the Creator
Wish I could live on, as a mere spectator
After-all, it is true, isn't it?
That being a witness demands quite a bit!