A Year Ago Today Poem by Richard D Remler

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A long, long, long time ago
When I was still a kid,
I did a little something
No one ever knew I did.

A super secret something
Much too fun to call a chore.
A crazy, kooky something
That I'd never done before.

And I never told my brother.
He was innocent, for sure.
I never told my sister.
I kept everything from her.

I did not tell my Mother.
She'd have sent me to my room.
And I never told my Father.
He'd of whomped me with the broom.

But you can't fool Great Aunt Imogene.
She is always on the go.
There is very, very little
She does not already know.

She'd have been the best Detective
The world had ever seen,
If Scotland Yard had ever
Met my Great Aunt Imogene!

She senses things that other
Folks just never, ever see.
And somehow I just knew
She was investigating me.

She walks through walls and talks in code,
And never spills the beans.
And I kind of, sort of guessed
She'd solve this case by any means.

I had to get her off the scent.
And distract her clever stare.
I'd overwork all her suspicions,
And I wasn't playing fair.

I told her I was feeling ill,
And coughed a nifty spell.
But she looked at me with shifty eyes
And told me I was doing well.

Healthy as a horse, she said.
And strong as any gnat.
Heck, she said I was in such good shape
I'd out live every rat.

Then I lied I had a fever,
I was delirious with dread.
But all she did was smile some
And pat me on the head.

So I said that I was full of germs,
Contagious as a sneeze.
That I was sure I had some ancient,
Terrible disease.

But Great Aunt Imogene just grinned,
And told me I was fine.
That as a nephew I was
Pretty near top of the line.

And no, that didn't help at all.
Not one single bit.
I had to come up with a something
Really good lickety-split.

So, I said we had some termites,
So be careful where she stepped.
And that we kept our best mosquitoes
In the bedroom where she slept.

I told her we had ghost faced bats
Just in the chimney wall.
That Dad had boxed 'em in there
With my brand new basket ball.

I told her shadow spiders
Lived just underneath the floor,
And came out every time
They heard a someone snore.

I told her we had ghosts upstairs,
The kind that rattle chains.
Ghosts that clanked the floorboards
Every single time it rains.

How was I to know I should have
Thought my thinker through?
How was I to know it was
Something you never do?

How was I to know she was
As scared as she could be,
When nobody in this family
Ever shared this news with me.

Because Aunt Imogene let out a skreak
That shuddered through the hall.
She started seeing things that
Were not even there at all.

She stumbled back and squinted some,
And trembled like a leaf.
I felt a tinge of guilt, stepped back,
And stared in disbelief.

Her frizzy hair stood all on end,
Her teeth, they clattered sore.
Then she wailed out a psychedelic scream
And thundered for the door!

Whatever button I had pushed
Worked out well that day.
After that my Great Aunt Imogene
Never sneaked a peek my way.

And that super-secret something
That you never heard me say ~
Dropped into the realms of legend,
Where it still resides today.

Now I'm so much older
Than I've ever been before.
And those silly things I did back then,
I don't do anymore.

I suppose, maybe, I've grown up,
Just as the sage's say.
And I'm so much wiser than I was
A year ago today.


Copyright © MMXIII Richard D. Remler