Achilles Goes Shopping Poem by Laurence Overmire

Gripping the cart, knuckles white with fear
He gazed what seemed a mile of aisle
Cases stacked full with dreamy whipped
Flavor on flavor of cool refreshing
Ice Cream!

Bowing his head
He bolted across the floor
Not daring to look on left or right
His feet breezing like Hermes across
The linoleum with oh! such a
Slide at the finish.

But just as he made the turn
A home stretch to the register and
Freedom
He spied out the corner of his unwary
Eye, the tempting froth of frosty
Strawberry Ripple peeking out the top of an
Olympian bucket, some trickster had viciously marked
“On Sale.”

His hand, out of body, acted on its own
Shoved aside the blithering brain
Grabbed the heavenly concoction
And flew effortlessly through the checkout
Without the slightest protest or whimper
Of remorse.

At home on the sofa, spoon in hand
A smile of sophistic satisfaction
Erased the last semblance of reason
His stubby fingers loosening his belt
One more notch
Thinking with absolute conviction, by Zeus!
That the diet could easily be resumed
Promptly
On the morrow.


(Previously published in Apollo's Lyre, Spring 2007)