All I Can Do Is Sleep Poem by Koi Moe

I was eleven when you read my first note to you
Then when I was fifteen you asked why I was taking drugs
You never thought to correlate the two,
Though I didn't help lead you to that answer either.

I was thirteen when I first put a blade to my skin.
I didn't draw much, it hurt too much
but when I was sixteen it hurt less and brought more.

I was twelve when I was first introduced to human deaths.
I was fourteen when I stopped fearing it.
Now I see it as an escape from this world.

I can't tell you what I did yesterday.
Nor can I tell you what I did a year ago.
I can't even imagine what I was doing three years pass.
Let alone where I'll be in three.

I don't expect much out of my life.
Nor do I hope for much.
I do hope for this pain to stop.
For the grief in me to stop consuming me.

I want to breathe for once.
But all I can do is sleep.