Alternative Views Of Windermere Poem by Sheena Blackhall

The Arctic char complain that Windermere's shrinking
Since twenty millions of gallons of lake are drunk
On a daily basis by the folk of Manchester

At Fell Foot and Stott Park Mill
A ghostly horse has been seen
Galloping over the waves, neighing of danger

A curmudgeonly pike recalls the halcyon days
When Colonel Ridehaigh, master of the hounds
Aboard his steamer, conveyed his pack to meets

The wraith of John Bolton, Liverpool slave trader
Laments the fact his hall is now a hotel

Mrs Tiggy Winkle has been spotted, wearing her best pinnie
Lurking by Ferry Nab, signing autographs for ecstatic Japanese fans

Police continue to look for Martha (or Mary)
One of the Ullock sisters who has disappeared
Anyone sighting this missing chestnut tree
Will be rewarded by media interviews and many tweets

Lampreys are plotting against a roost of cormorants
Who have annexed, without permission, a chantry chapel

Bats over Blelham Tarn and round Pull Wyke
Report a spectral legion marching down Crinkle Crags
Asking each passer by the way to Rome

A Hardwick sheep has lost the art of ‘heafing'
It has quit the fells and is currently windsurfing