I wish I had a memory
From when I was a kid.
But all that I am left with
Is all the bad u did.
I had no love.
Well not from you.
You being drunk
is all I knew.
I'm home from school.
You wasn't there.
If you were
You didnt care.
You forgot who i was
You'd shout the wrong name.
I'd walk past the neighbours
head down in shame.
From when I was six
I relied on my Dad.
But He worked away.
A sister I had.
Dad tried his hardest.
He coped with it well.
We all pulled together.
To work through the hell.
I used to go hungry
No clothes on my back.
I'd cook for myself.
Eat Noodles and snacks.
The house would be messy.
A strange smell in the Air.
The school would soon notice
That I wasnt there.
You Screamed with your pleading
I walk for an hour to the shop.
The cans were so heavy
I'd keep Having to stop.
I'd pick up your Glass.
Half full of Gin.
but Now your asleep
Put the Bottle in the Bin.
I wished you had loved me.
Like any mum should.
Read me a story.
Made camps out of wood
Had a trip to the Beach.
Or A walk in the Park.
Not find you Drunk
Asleep in the Dark.
I was 10 years old.
You went off to Bed.
I Kissed you Goodnight
But you were cold. Dead.
It scarred me forever.
That Image remains.
Why did you drink Mum?
why call me those names?
Thirty years later
I've kids of my own.
Happily Married.
In a hardworking Home.
The life that I had
Was so far from good.
But it made me stronger
It probably would.
I think you'd be proud Mum
I wish you could see.
The Mum that I am.
The Mum I wished you could be.
R.I.P
All rights reserved 2018
A heartbreaking story of alcohol abuse and child abuse told with clarity of thought and mind. Very heartfelt with strong emotions. An insightful work of art. Thanks for sharing Karen and do remain enriched.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
Some people would go mad if they didn't let off steam. And through writing about a tragic past, a catharsis is needed by any human heart, simply to exorcise a suppressed emotion. It helps to write it down from time to time. Well written and displayed pulling no punches. 10++ and thanks for sharing. I wish you well and stay healthy.