An Indian Acharya Astrologer's Son Now A Degree Seller, What Will You Take M.A., B.A., Ph.D.? Poem by Bijay Kant Dubey

With a counter,
A chamber and an ante-chamber for note counting,
He the Acharya's, Indian astrologer,
Horoscope-makers' son
Selling certificates and degrees
Of distance and open boards and varsities,
Looking out for probable customers,
Customers
With which he has
A double-storey marvellous building,
What will you take
Matric, H.S., B.A. M.A.
Or Ph.D,
What do you want,
Want, sir,
Matric, H.S., B.A., M.A.
Or Doctorate
From open, distance learning
Schools and varsities
And even from regular deemed varsities
Or full-fledged ones
Wherever there lies the seats vacant
Going north to south, east to west
Of India, even to deserts and islands
Or hilly places?

Give him charges
And fees,
For taking admission, birth-proof,
Residence proof
And other details,
Registration charges and the photos
Of your identity,
Your certificate is coming,
Coming by post,
Wait, wait for,
You need not sit for the exam,
It will be taken,
If not, don't worry,
Will be got managed,
Managed
And for impersonating
Some more additional fees
To be borne by the party.

There was a time
When I use to see Prabesika pass
Working as teachers in primary schools,
Sanskrit Bhushans
Equivalent to H.S. perhaps
But that too not a genuinely passed,
Sahityalankars in khadi clothes,
Dhoti, kurta
Posing as Hindi scholars
Appointed in high schools
As Hindi teachers
And some of them even approaching Hindi Vidyapeeths
To be Vidyavachaspatis (Honris causa) .

Their syllabuses beautiful indeed
With a stress upon modern Indian languages,
Their branches of study,
Classical Sanskrit
And vernaculars,
But they with the habit of
Reading not,
How to pass taking the use of unfair means,
Getting the degrees without reading
And that too from homes,
Candidates in self lockout
And the related fellows
Writing on behalf of them
In absentia,
The little paid officials and other
Associated fellows
Getting scripts readied
And written for charges.

As for today, as the new rule has been made
Mandatory for driving one has to be
Educated
So the willing servants
Wanting to be drivers
Manage to get issued some
Class read certificates,
Fake Matriculation degree certificates
To be eligible drivers
And some those who want to do jobs
Throwing dust into the eyes
Of the employers
Or wherever necessary,
Who sees them,
Gets it verified in a country
Of so many boards and varsities
Private and public
If caught before will be in jail
And if not, life will pass out,
But there should not be anyone after?

The counter file, see it too,
Are the leaders and players
Not awarded doctorates,
Do the teachers not improve
Their degrees,
To be professors from lab men,
Are the librarians not so,
Do the nominated ones
Not hold the chair
Before being eligible,
Do all write their Ph.Ds.,
Are they all original,
Where do they get new materials from,
Are researches so easy,
Beards and hair ripen it,
Whiten it in researching
For years and years,
Say, the whole of life spends
As thus
And you talking about free-wheeling,
Free-going Ph.Ds.,
Say you for jobs and employment,
Not for studies
You are doing your Ph.D.,
The other thing too is this that
The simple chelas of ustads
Turn into great scholars too
In course of time
As for association and company
And opportunities and grants,
Do the P.As. of D.Ms.
Not turn into magistrates,
Do the scions not into ministers,
Are all in the judiciary good boys
Say you taking the oath
From the Gita
Keeping your hand on?

Did the election department supervisors not
Turned into election officers,
Did the adult education supervisors,
Did the people from below ranks
To inspector ranks,
Did the child development supervisors not
Into officers,
Did the police men not to sub-inspector rank,
Did the bank staff not into managers?
Say who is not corrupt,
You a bit much more, I less than you,
But we all are corrupt,
Morally fallen, we know it not
As we cannot our faults,
But That Almighty knows it all
And He the Right Gentleman cannot be dodged?

O, what was I saying,
Forgot I,
Were there not some professors, the rustic profs of English
Very bogus and third class who were unable
To teach English, pronounce the English words
Used to come into the class eating Indian paan
Putting into mouth
So that one may not his British pronunciation,
Taking tobacco, chewing
And speaking in English,
Pronouncing peculiarly,
But one day they too turned into doctorates
And Ph.D. guides,
Turned into poets and authors too
As the chair too teaches something
Is the reality
Whereas sometimes talents and geniuses
Suffer too much
To die in harness
And the foolish fellows too
Turn into big ministers!

I have seen and felt it
Many cringing P.As. and stenographers
After having been in the contact
Of their bosses, magistrates
Used to think of
Great phoneticians, masters of
English, Colonial English, British English,
Not Indian British English
Even looking down upon
The college teachers,
Frowning upon got lifted sometimes
By the drivers of the magistrate's jeeps,
Not less than magistrates,
But British magistrates, but Indian magistrates,
Thinking themselves ships and great charioteers,
Pundits of English with masterly strokes.

But mark it there is an ustad of ustads,
My ustad, your ustad,
The ustad of the ustad,
So show you not your ustadi,
Do not think yourself great,
Let us debate and discuss it here,
We the lookers-on
Seeing the bargain,
How does the world move,
How do the things of the world
Taking us by storm and surprise,
What is happening where
And which is what
In coming to know
The secrets,
The secret businesses made
And the things hushes
For a profit and bargain
Shutting your mouth,
My mouth?

Acharya's son in the chamber,
The old horoscope-maker's son
Bogus and dull calling
And asking,
What degree to take,
Matric, H.S., B.A. M.A.,
B.Ed., M.Ed., B.L., M.L.
After reading
Or without reading,
Writing it or managing it to get somehow,
May have to move to the far northeast
For B.L., M.L.,
To Bhutan, Nepal for B.Ed.,
Has to procure the degrees somehow
And to be appointed
Is the target
And together with it
He managing the old business of his father
Astrology and palmistry
And horoscope-making and gemology
As seeing the hands of customers too,
Reading their fate-lines and palm-lines
To be given some lockets and gems
With the degrees in waiting.