An Ode To Neeps Poem by Randy McClave

I am hungry for some tatties and neeps
Piled on my dinner plate in heaps,
Spiced deliciously for my finicky taste
And I swear to you they will not go to waste.
I love it when potatoes are cubed and placed in a pot
Then boiled and then simmered until they are hot,
Then mashed and seasoned with butter and cream until they are smooth
Soon my cravings they will help soothe.
Now finally they are getting ready to be served
Delicious tatties I most definitely have deserved,
Now my son and I are two happy laddies
When soon we taste those steaming hot smooth delicious tatties.

Now my neeps are ready to be prepared
And they are delicious as all my taste buds have declared,
First they use fat succulent rutabagas or swedes
Then soon they will take care of more of my savory needs.
The wax and skin on the rutabaga must be removed
With a paring knife a skinless rutabaga is approved,
Then cubed and placed in a pot in cold water waiting to boil
That of course is the hardest toil.
Then the water is drained and butter added and then it is mashed
Pepper and then more pepper is added in and then again it is smashed,
Then maybe after a long waited hour
The neeps are then ready for me and my son and others to devour.

Now the neeps and the tatties are on our plates side by side
Being savory and deliciousness they now both coincide,
Their heavenly scent is now dancing in the air
And now I must impatiently wait to give my prayer.
Now alarmingly on my plate I now noticed that something is sadly missing
Another delicacy that I wished and hungered for to be kissing,
"Where is it"! As I look wildly about
"Where is it"! As I slam my fist down and scream and shout.
Now I am presented a craving knife as a dinner apparatus
They now finally pipe in the cooked tasty Haggis,
Now before I or others can happily and hungrily stuff our face
We must first bow our heads and then give The Selkirk Grace.

Randy L. McClave