Apology For Adrian Poem by Melanie Emikohe

Not certain what triggered
a sudden startling freeze

was it the earthy aroma of the leaves
succumbed to dirt, lifespan over
first week of autumn
was it the aftertaste of the baby back ribs
that charred a night of jazz

I got squeamish and every damn time
I felt like puking, something about it
rewinds to that romantic mellow lighting
the politely shy clanging of silverwares
and the lingering saucy aftertaste
unfortunately a night with you not because of you
an eccentric qualm
master shrink enlighten me why

I had no sensible reason
to keep tapping on the red telephone
not likely of you to drain my battery
like that, did I make you uncool?
I was a coldhearted bitch
to be mum - because I struggled to find
a good enough reason
why I disappeared beyond counseling

You were astonishing like always been
any normal woman must be really half-witted
to divert a perfect breakaway angling
outside the goal
you were that unguarded perfect angle

I hope you are always happy nowadays
with a pleasant wife and gifted kids
who are logically committed
and that I have been kindly forgiven

I am sorry that I never found the rhetoric
to appease unresolved hurt
whenever I catch a scent of similar fruity cologne
I wore that night, I still get an undesirable feeling in the gut
I still carry this very weird estranged feeling
about you, for no reason