Confusion, uncertainties, low self esteem
Depression, tearfulness, fear in its extreme
Loss of self confidence in everything
That’s all I have experienced
How really, really dim.
My greatest sin, a shadow of love
For I have prayed day and night
The love in me may subside
Anger, hatred that’s what I found
Inside my heart, it comes alive.
I thought for awhile, bear in mind
That if I am as cold as an ice
I will not be hurt, sad in life
They will not care I told myself
Who do really care, I mutter.
But I was wrong, how selfish I was
Because the greatest gift of God above
Is the grace of love that He gave for us
The love, faith and hope I should have
To conquer the fear that once I had.
Now I knew that in our life
Food, shelter and air are not enough
God whispered to me one starry night
That without love in our heart
Our bones will dry, our spirit died.
Without that trauma and tears I sowed
I would never know God loves me so
He stayed, never leave me though
I was a fool to ignore Him I knew
Forgive me Lord, change me a new.
I considered all these sufferings
Not a cruel fate though it may seem
But the brightest light, rays that gleam
An opener to the concealed dreams
To reclaim the love I had lost in dim.
Unusual things happened in my life
As I looked back, now I’ve realized
God has a purpose, He lifted me up
So that I can change, He gave me chance
To redirect my way into His path.
(the very first poem I've made)