Bhow To Keep Your Girl Poem by Barry A. Lanier

An extension of the series of 'How To' for the guys out there this one how to keep your girl assuming you followed the steps in 'How To Get A Girl'
1) Guys don't try to solve all her problems. She doesn't need you to tell her what is right and what is wrong. She only needs you to sit through a session of woes and patiently listen to what she says. If you aren't interested, fake it, and act genuinely concerned.
2) Say what you mean because you can't bluff and con your girl. Women unlike men can read body language. They can tell when you lie by your body language and reading your eyes....and they have memories like elephants
3) Don't argue with your girl, you cannot win...and should you say an unkind word...remember the elephant...you shall pay for years to come
4) Encourage and React- Two Key Words.....always encourage your girl for her successes and her attitudes in failure. Always notice and comment on new clothes and new haircuts.....Brownie Points +10
5) Chores- Guys I know it'll be tough and a blow to your self-esteem, but learn how to wash and dry clothes, ironing your own shirts, and washing the dishes..you'll be surprised...Brownie Points +15
6) Don't Flirt- Guys she may be the silent type but if she perceives that you are flirting....Brownie Points -20
7) Surprise Her- An extension of 'How To Get A Women'-cook her a candlelight meal at home, send her cards and red roses for no reason...Brownie Points +10
8) Never Talk- About old girlfriends....even thought they won't admit this it makes them very insecure and angry
9) Communication- Listen more than Talking...Brownie Points +12
10) Hobbies- Make a point to enjoy some of her hobbies with her, even if you are not genuinely interested, become interested

Gosh, I', exhausted, pulling these life saving tips from the repressed cerebellum matter, keep the passion flowing, the peas in the pot, and the ham cooking.