Baconian Theorem Poem by Stanley Cooper

The plays of Shakespeare are thrilling
Including Macbeth and King Lear
I will never be ready or willing
To trash the great Bard’s career

Some nineteenth century writers
Claimed Will did not author those plays
Those scholarly tabloid inciters
Sought another writer to praise

They shamefully came up with Bacon
Might have done better with ham
Their goal was to readers awaken
To their plagiarizing sham

Sir Francis, it’s true, was a smarty
Was quite the “Pooh Bah” of his day
Did so many things that were arty
But couldn’t be Shakespeare’s valet

The Lord High Everything was “Pooh Bah”
Of most things he kept abreast
Keeper of the Seal, Lord Chancellor
Was Sir Bacon at his best

When knighted and addressed as Sir
It helped him stand tall and erect
But he’s managed my wrath to incur
By making the great bard suspect

With such brilliance did Shakespeare write
He was so wonderfully able
Not even Sir Francis, the Knight
Would care to persist with their fable