Because I Fought Too Hard Poem by Alpha Sanunu Bah

Reminiscing the sight of fallen tribesmen
when the barrel of their
guns in those times of thorns
danced to the tune of confusion and scorn.
Brigadiers in black, command the swords and shields
in blood ridden fields to
attack the innocent and the trust he wields.
So our bold protectors now in force with the rebels,
terrorizing the weak and even the disables,
My heart to my country bleed in anguish, and the
blood in my veins dangle in tears,
Trailing my zeal that I must fight,
for the lives of my people, I must protect.

Strong and Powerful sons of the soil,
in their sack cloths and African magic,
with their sacred might and melanin skin,
dark as the feet of our tambourine kin,
with you by my side this war we will win.
You shall defend this land begot by our fathers,
Stand your ground when the rebels gather,
You will fight for life and fight for peace,
You will rid their minds of every bliss.

But, you see; now I can't remember,
I cannot remember where I went wrong,
I can't see why it's wrong to be strong,
I cannot remember those orders I gave,
I can't see why you say they were orders I made,
I cannot remember my malice with home,
You say I was wrong but weren't we all?
I cannot remember what led them astray,
You may give me the fault but I know I'm innocent,
And if I'm greatly responsible, what about the President?

I never held a gun but now I just might,
cause you've broken my trust and riddled my fight,
painted my image with tainted black,
these beards in my face are becoming dark.
Those warriors you praised, yes, I made them,
but the "sobels", you see, made themselves,
from need I intended but from greed they came,
So, why do I have to carry this blame?
My name, my aim, what is this game?
That they played me off in politics,
And washed my face with "poli-tricks".

Even on death's road I inspire change,
I am a revolutionary! I bear no regrets,
But, why didn't you hear me in the first place?
Before the TRC, before my people's face,
You've refused to write my story right,
So this is the truth of my own good fight.

As I dig my grave with my last zeal,
Remember I stood when many collapsed,
Remember my fight, the good fight I fought,
And in our time of need, the defenders I brought,
So as you tell your children the stories of my bad,
Tell them, my only crime is I fought too hard.